Got up this morning very positive today would be the day that I again had some sort of income. I did get two quick interviews with a manger and an owner, but so far no job. Seven more resumes and face to face meetings.. And still no job. I just am not sure what it is like not to work! Desperate times... I'm almost to the point of going back to the jobs I had when I was younger. Im just a little bummed out I guess.
I thought a little bit ago about going to the gym to exercise... Then got to sweeping the kitchen, doing some laundry and cleaning a little. Now I'm not feeling it. I'm procrastinating. I could create a real fun workout for myself outside... It's windy but its 65 out! I really wish I had some bleachers close by. Actually, I really wish I had some friends close by. After filling out an application at Salon De Christe... I had to drive by the community college oly to find bleachers that were not about 10 step high for the soccer field. Tha will just not do. I have a fun little circuit planned out in my head for my backyard, but it's just not as fun doing it alone.
Alright, I'm done venting... Time to get something done.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Fears
It's funny to me how God speaks to us when we are not even seeking him necessarily. This has been happening a lot to me lately. I will be thinking of something and all of a sudden I read something that has to do particularly with the subject. I will be nervous about something, and instantly when I check my email, there is an encouraging note from a friend. The other day I was feeling so alone, and then I went to the mailbox and voila.....there was a funny card in there from a friend that I hadn't said a word to! Coincidence? Maybe... If you aren't a believer. I personally think it is God working through other people. God has put a lot of these "angels" into my life. I do not use that word lightly. I do have friends, but I have a few friends that our life paths just "happened" to cross that have been angels in disguise. The funny thing is, they don't even really know how God is using them! I halfway expect them to just vanish into thin air one day, like it was a figment of my imagination. This is how special these "angels" are to me. They remind me that God is not far away.
I got off a little bit on a tangent there. My point today was another "encounter" with the Lord. All day long I have had my head buried in a book and notes, every so often taking a break to grab some water, do some laundry and check email...hoping someone will get back to me about a job. Well, I've been extremely anxious about this test I will be taking I. The next couple of weeks. I believe I am almost ready and I am in the review and make sure I know everything stage, going over notes, review questions, etc. my plan is by the end of the weekend take the practice exam and see if I'm ready and then sign up for the exam. I'm hoping once I get through this, it will help with new work opportunities. Education is never ending in my mind. Ok, back to the point. I'm a little scared. I have been lately, and a little nervous. It's fine, I'm focused.. But just have that nervous sickness in my stomach all the time lately. Now, part of this could be due to the fact our house has yet to sell, and money is tight, etc...but nonetheless...scared.
So, I take a break just a few minutes ago and unpack a box from the garage. In it, I find a day by day devotional and decide, what the heck, haven't read this one in a while. I read one of the daily devos. Well, let me share what it says.:
"I, The Lord your God, hold your right hand and say to you, "Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
Then it goes on to say:
It's ok with god for you to be scared to death. He recognizes our fears and our insecurities. I feel like the spirit of God sometimes says to me, "you know Beth, I understand that you're not very happy about this. I understand that you may be crying over this. Cry, shake, whatever--but do my will child. Do my will. I have victory for you."
So even though you may be afraid about many things, don't be afraid to allow God to do his work in you, looking into the deepest part of your heart and releasing freedom in your life, teaching you how to live in victory.
Well, that was it.... Another coincidence? Maybe... But I don't believe it is. Thank you Jesus for giving me angels as new friends and giving yourself to me to calm my fears!
Suz :)
I got off a little bit on a tangent there. My point today was another "encounter" with the Lord. All day long I have had my head buried in a book and notes, every so often taking a break to grab some water, do some laundry and check email...hoping someone will get back to me about a job. Well, I've been extremely anxious about this test I will be taking I. The next couple of weeks. I believe I am almost ready and I am in the review and make sure I know everything stage, going over notes, review questions, etc. my plan is by the end of the weekend take the practice exam and see if I'm ready and then sign up for the exam. I'm hoping once I get through this, it will help with new work opportunities. Education is never ending in my mind. Ok, back to the point. I'm a little scared. I have been lately, and a little nervous. It's fine, I'm focused.. But just have that nervous sickness in my stomach all the time lately. Now, part of this could be due to the fact our house has yet to sell, and money is tight, etc...but nonetheless...scared.
So, I take a break just a few minutes ago and unpack a box from the garage. In it, I find a day by day devotional and decide, what the heck, haven't read this one in a while. I read one of the daily devos. Well, let me share what it says.:
"I, The Lord your God, hold your right hand and say to you, "Do not fear, I will help you." Isaiah 41:13
Then it goes on to say:
It's ok with god for you to be scared to death. He recognizes our fears and our insecurities. I feel like the spirit of God sometimes says to me, "you know Beth, I understand that you're not very happy about this. I understand that you may be crying over this. Cry, shake, whatever--but do my will child. Do my will. I have victory for you."
So even though you may be afraid about many things, don't be afraid to allow God to do his work in you, looking into the deepest part of your heart and releasing freedom in your life, teaching you how to live in victory.
Well, that was it.... Another coincidence? Maybe... But I don't believe it is. Thank you Jesus for giving me angels as new friends and giving yourself to me to calm my fears!
Suz :)
Monday, January 23, 2012
Temptations
I've been thinking a lot about this lately and how funny that in church on Sunday the sermon was about temptation. Now, keep in mind they were talking about Jesus being tempted by Satan in the desert.. But it applies to our lives now too! One of the points of the message was:
We are often tempted when we are mst vulnerable. Don't you always find that to be true? When things are going great, it's easy to stay on track. I could be talking about anything here, but let me apply it to diet. As soon as things start to go the wrong direction, so quickly we are apt to make excuses and fall into temptation. After all, why take the hard road when you can take the easy one, right?
Wrong, quite often the easy road is not the road you want to take. I think about how hard I have worked to get stronger and lose weight and eat right. My hard work has paid off. I can see the results, but what makes the smallest of victories even sweeter is the fact that I've earned it through hard work. The early mornings getting up day after day to exercise, the number of temptations that I have had to resist when dangled in my face, the time I spent planning meals, the everything that I have given to my trainer during a PT session, all the sweat, all the tears. It all makes the prize even sweeter because I have had to work for it. I had to earn it. I still am working for it and earning it because my ultimate goal still is I. The distance. The easy way would have been to take a quick fix "pill", maybe get surgery, or try the newest diet fad...but would it have been as rewarding and lasting? Defintely not!
Another point of the matter is, we are usually tempted after a mountaintop experience. You see, Satan does not want us to be happy so this is when he picks up on our weaknesses and uses it to his advantage. God has provided to us everything we need, we just need to realize that. If I am applying this to my health, let me out it this way.. God formed me in the womb before my parents even knew about me. He created my body as a temple to him and over the years, and the temptations, I have not always been the best steward of this perfect way he created me. I look at that a lot more now as I eat healthier and exercise and get stronger. Anything that comes before God is to right. Giving into constant cravings for food and drink, and getting lazy.. That's all out before God. I want to live my life in a way that the Father would be proud of me. I'm not saying I don't enjoy the yummy things that he has given to us, because God has never created something that is not good for us. It is what we do with it and the excessive, addictive behaviors that get us not trouble. Everything in moderation. There is a reason they say that.
So, that's what has been on my mind. Jesus, help me to stay focused with my goals, my dreams and help me resist the temptations I do not need. In your name I pray, Amen.
:)
We are often tempted when we are mst vulnerable. Don't you always find that to be true? When things are going great, it's easy to stay on track. I could be talking about anything here, but let me apply it to diet. As soon as things start to go the wrong direction, so quickly we are apt to make excuses and fall into temptation. After all, why take the hard road when you can take the easy one, right?
Wrong, quite often the easy road is not the road you want to take. I think about how hard I have worked to get stronger and lose weight and eat right. My hard work has paid off. I can see the results, but what makes the smallest of victories even sweeter is the fact that I've earned it through hard work. The early mornings getting up day after day to exercise, the number of temptations that I have had to resist when dangled in my face, the time I spent planning meals, the everything that I have given to my trainer during a PT session, all the sweat, all the tears. It all makes the prize even sweeter because I have had to work for it. I had to earn it. I still am working for it and earning it because my ultimate goal still is I. The distance. The easy way would have been to take a quick fix "pill", maybe get surgery, or try the newest diet fad...but would it have been as rewarding and lasting? Defintely not!
Another point of the matter is, we are usually tempted after a mountaintop experience. You see, Satan does not want us to be happy so this is when he picks up on our weaknesses and uses it to his advantage. God has provided to us everything we need, we just need to realize that. If I am applying this to my health, let me out it this way.. God formed me in the womb before my parents even knew about me. He created my body as a temple to him and over the years, and the temptations, I have not always been the best steward of this perfect way he created me. I look at that a lot more now as I eat healthier and exercise and get stronger. Anything that comes before God is to right. Giving into constant cravings for food and drink, and getting lazy.. That's all out before God. I want to live my life in a way that the Father would be proud of me. I'm not saying I don't enjoy the yummy things that he has given to us, because God has never created something that is not good for us. It is what we do with it and the excessive, addictive behaviors that get us not trouble. Everything in moderation. There is a reason they say that.
So, that's what has been on my mind. Jesus, help me to stay focused with my goals, my dreams and help me resist the temptations I do not need. In your name I pray, Amen.
:)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
A little extra motivation
Today was tough. I woke up with a head cold. I wanted to get to the gym and get my workout in, but the more the morning progressed, the less likely it was looking. I finally just announced to the kids that I was going to workout. After which, I threw another load of laundry in, started cleaning the kitchen until finally , one of them said "mom, I thought you were going to workout!" That got me out the door pretty quick. Funny thing is, I almost always want to workout. I really do enjoy it! As a matter of fact, it is one of the things I loom forward to most in my day! Today though, I just didn't have the proper mindset. I was a little frustrated and annoyed I think, and I was looking for a reason not to. The cold, well, that was an OK excuse, but not good enough. Since I'm really trying to stick to the No Excuses that I was speaking about the other day, it seems silly that excuses even cross my mind. Thank goodness for the extra push and motivation I needed to get me out the door.
I believe that sometimes if you need a little push, announcing your plans, your goals, outloud, helps. It helped today! I announced I was going to the gym,..and when I dilly dallied around, I was very thankful to be reminded that I was heading to the gym.
When I got there, I knew exactly what workout I was doing and I took the frustrations, the anxiety, the sadness...whatever..and I pushed it out in the weights. It felt so good. I felt strong and during the workout actually envisioned a little competition with myself. Got me through til the end. I will say I won! I felt like a winner and when I left the gym, I knew I had given everything I had. I decided on my drive home not to let what was bothering me bother me anymore. I have learned pretty well not to let other people dictate how I feel, I just needed a little reminder today and it was fine.
I did make a new little recipe when I got home. Threw some chicken diced up small in a pan and cooked through,and then added a little organic teriyaki sauce I found with sugar or anything. I was excited! Anyway, a couple tablespoons mixed with the meat and then placed in some romaine with a little fresh pico de gallo....yes! I will eat this again! It is awesome and simple and healthy!
The rest of my day, a lot of reading, cleaning, and blowing my nose but it's fine. Not much more, but I'll be fine. :)
I believe that sometimes if you need a little push, announcing your plans, your goals, outloud, helps. It helped today! I announced I was going to the gym,..and when I dilly dallied around, I was very thankful to be reminded that I was heading to the gym.
When I got there, I knew exactly what workout I was doing and I took the frustrations, the anxiety, the sadness...whatever..and I pushed it out in the weights. It felt so good. I felt strong and during the workout actually envisioned a little competition with myself. Got me through til the end. I will say I won! I felt like a winner and when I left the gym, I knew I had given everything I had. I decided on my drive home not to let what was bothering me bother me anymore. I have learned pretty well not to let other people dictate how I feel, I just needed a little reminder today and it was fine.
I did make a new little recipe when I got home. Threw some chicken diced up small in a pan and cooked through,and then added a little organic teriyaki sauce I found with sugar or anything. I was excited! Anyway, a couple tablespoons mixed with the meat and then placed in some romaine with a little fresh pico de gallo....yes! I will eat this again! It is awesome and simple and healthy!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Goals and excuses
It has been a while since I have updated. We have finally moved down near St. Louis, Missouri. The transition has been great for the kids and we all seem to be adjusting fine. I joined a gym immediately because one of the main things when I moved was that I didn't want to get out of shape and unhealthy again. You see, this was never just a "diet" for me, but it was so much more. It was a complete lifestyle change. The past few weeks have been an emotional struggle and it has been extremely hard to stay on track, but I'm back on track. This leads me to my thought of the day.
I've been thinking a lot about the phrase "no excuses". This phrase used often was first introduced to me when I started Bootcamp by my trainer. Among many other little phrases to motivate and keep you going, this was one of them. Last season, I did not watch The Biggest Loser, but when I turned on episode one for this season last week, I noticed they had also adopted the "no excuses" campaign. The gym I am currently going to has also used the phrase now, but twists it just a litte...and I like the twist! They have shirts and signs and billboards that shout out "STRONGER THAN EXCUSES"! This totally hits it on the head. Quite often I find myself outright having to say to myself lately.. Susan, you are better than that! Quite often it has to do with a food I shouldn't be eating or perhaps a glass of wine. Sometimes it takes me actually saying to myself, "you are stronger than that!,.... Stronger than excuses" !
My workouts are extremely important to me, I mean every single one of them. I work hard, I give my best every single time because if I have nothing else, there is "no excuse" not to. Whether it is with my trainer or on my own, I don't expect less than 100percent and no one else should either of me. I want results, and to actually see results, it is so much more than exercising every day and pushing my physical limits. It is about healthy eating. It is about the foods that will fuel my body and not set me back. It's about giving my all in everything I do. It's about proving that I CAN! It's about eliminating the doubts that I know for a fact others have in me.
It would be easy for me to throw out that I'm eating this or that because I had to move, because I don't have a job yet, because I have about 1 friend down here, or I'm stressed out, or I lost my trainer. I have every excuse in the book at my fingertips. Where all those things seem to be considered valid reasons to justify anything, what they really are is excuses. We all have choices to make each day. Some people call these health issues their "new years resolutions". For me it's not about just this year, call this my lifetime resolution. I'm stronger than excuses, like the billboards say, I'm stronger than resolutions. I will not be another statistic this year who in February has dropped off the fitness map. This is the year, the life I have now that I will no longer make excuses. Will this be your year? From day one of my healthy journey, I have heard no excuses... Maybe now I'm finally listening, are you?
I've been thinking a lot about the phrase "no excuses". This phrase used often was first introduced to me when I started Bootcamp by my trainer. Among many other little phrases to motivate and keep you going, this was one of them. Last season, I did not watch The Biggest Loser, but when I turned on episode one for this season last week, I noticed they had also adopted the "no excuses" campaign. The gym I am currently going to has also used the phrase now, but twists it just a litte...and I like the twist! They have shirts and signs and billboards that shout out "STRONGER THAN EXCUSES"! This totally hits it on the head. Quite often I find myself outright having to say to myself lately.. Susan, you are better than that! Quite often it has to do with a food I shouldn't be eating or perhaps a glass of wine. Sometimes it takes me actually saying to myself, "you are stronger than that!,.... Stronger than excuses" !
My workouts are extremely important to me, I mean every single one of them. I work hard, I give my best every single time because if I have nothing else, there is "no excuse" not to. Whether it is with my trainer or on my own, I don't expect less than 100percent and no one else should either of me. I want results, and to actually see results, it is so much more than exercising every day and pushing my physical limits. It is about healthy eating. It is about the foods that will fuel my body and not set me back. It's about giving my all in everything I do. It's about proving that I CAN! It's about eliminating the doubts that I know for a fact others have in me.
It would be easy for me to throw out that I'm eating this or that because I had to move, because I don't have a job yet, because I have about 1 friend down here, or I'm stressed out, or I lost my trainer. I have every excuse in the book at my fingertips. Where all those things seem to be considered valid reasons to justify anything, what they really are is excuses. We all have choices to make each day. Some people call these health issues their "new years resolutions". For me it's not about just this year, call this my lifetime resolution. I'm stronger than excuses, like the billboards say, I'm stronger than resolutions. I will not be another statistic this year who in February has dropped off the fitness map. This is the year, the life I have now that I will no longer make excuses. Will this be your year? From day one of my healthy journey, I have heard no excuses... Maybe now I'm finally listening, are you?
Friday, December 2, 2011
Time is short
Three weeks from tommorow is Christmas Eve. Christmas is by far my favorite time of the year. First, I love celebrating the birth of Jesus. I try and make sure that the "holiday" is focused on that. Really when I think of it though, it really is about the things that Jesus has taught us. Things like loving your neighbor as yourself, be kind, compassionate, generous to those less fortunate. I really don't care if I received one gift but I love giving. Not overpriced meaningless gifts either. To me I really feel when I give a gift to someone, it is because I put my heart and sol into thinking about it. I can't afford the finest things, but I like to give things that come from the heart. I think a lot about my friends and family this time of year. I hope and pray everyday for an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life, no matter what it is. It's the season to look back and reflect on those things and the relationships that have been formed in the past year. This has been a tough emotional week for me too. We came to December 1st yesterday and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Aside from the fact, I have very little "prepared" or Christmas, it is getting closer to the day I have to leave a place that I have grown very fond of. I feel as if I am looking at my life unwind from the outside of some bubble...like it isn't really happening. I can hear the excitement from people when they talk about the change and how great it will be. What can I do but embrace it? Change is never easy, but change brings opportunities you may never have pursued before. I know this, and this is what will keep me going. This is all I have right now. I will not go backwards. I have worked far too hard to get where I am and failure is not an option for me. I just wish I could get rid of the pit in my stomach that I have and the emptiness I am feeling.
Christmas means happiness, I'm happy, I'm a happy person. I'm joyful, fun, and energetic. I am powerful, positive and driven and I will not quit. If I must write it 100 times a day to remind myself, I will. Thank God for your blessings everyday...
Christmas means happiness, I'm happy, I'm a happy person. I'm joyful, fun, and energetic. I am powerful, positive and driven and I will not quit. If I must write it 100 times a day to remind myself, I will. Thank God for your blessings everyday...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
I was dreading this day
Im supposed to be very happy about our new adventure, but Friday was one of the toughest days of the year for me emotionally. The two nice mover guys showed up right after I dropped the kids at school. I took the on a quick tour and everything was fine. I saw them bring in the boxes, and everything was still fine. I heard the cutting, wrapping, and taping begin and I got a little sad, but I was fine. I got into my car to go to work and like a ton of bricks it hit me. Like someone had just slapped me across the face and said get outta here! I've never felt so alone as I did in that very moment because no matter what, I'm not quite ready to go. Luckily, I have a little over a month left here, although it will be different. I'm strong, I'm positive, I'm a hard working go getter and I'm gonna be the best thing the state of Missouri has ever seen! I do believe that, but a part of my heart is being left behind in blono... I just really like this place.
When I finally made it home after work, the movers had just left and the pictures below were extremely final. I guess all I have left to say to myself is to suck it up because it is what it is!
On a more positive note, I am looking at buying a new car! Well, it's not new (2007), and new to me. It's so pretty! I drove it all of last week and when we went in Saturday to wheel and deal we were still a little off on the price. Not too far though and I'm going to try to be confident that we can get there. The sales person told me to go ahead and keep it this week too, and she will get back to me on Thursday. She knows we will be very busy the next couple of days. Let's get some 70 degree temps so I can put the top down without looking like I've lost my mind!
When I finally made it home after work, the movers had just left and the pictures below were extremely final. I guess all I have left to say to myself is to suck it up because it is what it is!
On a more positive note, I am looking at buying a new car! Well, it's not new (2007), and new to me. It's so pretty! I drove it all of last week and when we went in Saturday to wheel and deal we were still a little off on the price. Not too far though and I'm going to try to be confident that we can get there. The sales person told me to go ahead and keep it this week too, and she will get back to me on Thursday. She knows we will be very busy the next couple of days. Let's get some 70 degree temps so I can put the top down without looking like I've lost my mind!
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