Three weeks from tommorow is Christmas Eve. Christmas is by far my favorite time of the year. First, I love celebrating the birth of Jesus. I try and make sure that the "holiday" is focused on that. Really when I think of it though, it really is about the things that Jesus has taught us. Things like loving your neighbor as yourself, be kind, compassionate, generous to those less fortunate. I really don't care if I received one gift but I love giving. Not overpriced meaningless gifts either. To me I really feel when I give a gift to someone, it is because I put my heart and sol into thinking about it. I can't afford the finest things, but I like to give things that come from the heart. I think a lot about my friends and family this time of year. I hope and pray everyday for an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life, no matter what it is. It's the season to look back and reflect on those things and the relationships that have been formed in the past year. This has been a tough emotional week for me too. We came to December 1st yesterday and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Aside from the fact, I have very little "prepared" or Christmas, it is getting closer to the day I have to leave a place that I have grown very fond of. I feel as if I am looking at my life unwind from the outside of some bubble...like it isn't really happening. I can hear the excitement from people when they talk about the change and how great it will be. What can I do but embrace it? Change is never easy, but change brings opportunities you may never have pursued before. I know this, and this is what will keep me going. This is all I have right now. I will not go backwards. I have worked far too hard to get where I am and failure is not an option for me. I just wish I could get rid of the pit in my stomach that I have and the emptiness I am feeling.
Christmas means happiness, I'm happy, I'm a happy person. I'm joyful, fun, and energetic. I am powerful, positive and driven and I will not quit. If I must write it 100 times a day to remind myself, I will. Thank God for your blessings everyday...
